Perogys with Hauerwas

Stanley Hauerwas has been here in Winnipeg for a couple of days, to preach and to give a lecture titled "Why North Americans are Afraid to Die." I went to both, but by far the highlight for me was the opportunity to sit down with him, and four other people, for perogys at a local Ukrainian restaurant.

I'd been reading a fair amount of his writing in preparation for his visit, so I knew we were all in for a treat. Hauerwas is wonderfully cantankerous, outspoken, and a man who loves the church. This all comes through in his writing. And in person, he did not disappoint.

The conversation was all over the map. We started with homosexuality in the church and the mistake to bring rights language into the debate, as ordination is always a privilege; we then moved to the difficulty of ministering to people outside the church because of the lack of any shared narrative, and the subsequent tacit support of personal religious syncretism, at least in contexts where genuine sharing of faith is supressed (like in chaplaincy); following that we spoke about abortion, virginity and promiscuity; and then, to my surprise, we had at least nominal agreement that Christians can talk about just war, but that the best place to start was always local policing. More interesting was the thought that Christians might make the best police force, because our willingness to lay down our lives for our friends would mean that we would be willing to police without weapons or the threat of the violence needed to protect ourselves.

But what impressed me most about Hauerwas, besides his intellect, was his willingness to be truthful. I'm afraid this was not something I learned in seminary. I've probably bought into the idea that to be truthful is to not be pastoral. But Dr. Hauerwas was friendly, laughed a lot, joked, and truthfully told us what he thought about some very touchy subjects. His friendliness and truthfullness were not at odds with each other, at least around the lunch table.

Our conversation that day is leading me to think that not being truthful may actually betray a lack of respect and dignity in relationships, including pastoral ones. There is more dignity in a relationship that is truthful because we are not afraid to reveal ourselves to each other, while silence is to be content in being misunderstood. Speaking truthfully may be, in the end, far more pastoral than silence or evasion, because to be truthful is to bring what is in darkness into the light, and reveals faithfullness through the hope of reconciliation.

I'll write a little more on the lecture tomorrow, but for now you might want to visit Elliot at Claw of the Conciliator. He was at the lectures and another event that I didn't get to, and he has some interesting things to say about the Jehovah's Witnesses.